If you
are like me there are days when the answer to that question is a
half-hearted “maybe” followed by a large question mark. Then
there are the really bad days when the answer is a definite NO. Those
are the days I need to remind myself to follow these instructions:
“(Breathe in) I am a child of God (breathe out) and that is
enough”.
Why do
we sometimes doubt that we are “good enough”? I can think of a
few reasons. I have come to believe that sometimes are good at
telling each other, and ourselves, that we fall short. We can be
really good at tearing each other down when we should build each
other up. In the beginning of the Scripture that is shared by Judaism
and Christianity we are told that God looks at what has been created
and says it is very good. Someone, I think it was Matthew Fox, has
suggested that despite everything that comes after that first chapter
of Genesis this original blessing has never been withdrawn. So we are
good enough. Why is that sometimes hard to believe?
One
reason we may doubt we are good enough is something called ‘Imposter Syndrome’. This shows up in that little voice which tells you that
you are not qualified for or capable of the task in front of you.
Maybe you think you are a ‘post turtle’ as a joke I often see
online says about politicians. In full blown effect it makes you
convinced that people will find out and you will be ruined upon
exposure as an imposter. Imposter Syndrome denies that word of God
telling you that you are enough. Imposter Syndrome speaks against the
truth that maybe God has led you to that place and is speaking
through those who gave you the job. A cure for Imposter Syndrome is
to remember the practice: “(Breathe in) I am a child of God
(breathe out) and that is enough”. More training and practice help
too, but we need to tend to the spiritual injury it causes as well.
And
then there is the big one. We often feel we are not good enough
because lots of voices tell us we aren’t. Sadly we often find it
easier to point out those times we each have failed, or done
something wrong than congratulate each other on our successes. This
leads to guilt. And in excessive amounts guilt leads to shame, and
shame is about how we see ourselves. Guilt can help us see a person
who does some things wrong, who sometimes fails. Shame, especially in
excess, can lead us to see a person who will never be good enough,
who can not do anything right. It can cause a paralyzing injury. The
way to cure this spiritual injury is grace. Grace is what reminds us
that we are beloved children of a loving God. Grace reminds us that
what we are, while not perfect, while still growing and maturing, is
enough.
To be
honest, this second spiritual injury is one of the places I take
issue with the historical church. Historically I think the church, or
more specifically some people in the church, has often been more
interested in reminding people that they are imperfect,’sinful’,
beings who can not measure up to some idealized saintly concept of
good enough. There is a story I once read of a broken woman who was
asked if she had tried the church. Her response: “why would I go
there, I already feel terrible about myself?”. The church she
described was forgetting the cure. As people of faith we sometimes
need to remind each other where we fall short. As people of faith we
ALWAYS have to remind each other of grace. We always need to remind
each other that simply because we are part of God’s creation we are
good, we are enough.
To some
this may be a question of theological priorities. To me it is life and
death. Those times when suicidal or self-destructive thoughts seep
into my soul they ride the carriage driven by the voice saying “you
are not good enough”, the voice which tells George Bailey the world
would be better off if he had never been born. To remind each other
that we are ‘good enough’ may well save lives. Good enough does
not mean perfect. It means enough. That is what Christ says. Jesus
never asks people what they did wrong. Jesus says “you are
forgiven, stand up and walk”. Jesus says we are good enough. So
when the days get too hard, when you wonder if you are good enough,
remember to: “(Breathe in) I am a child of God (breathe out) and
that is enough”.
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